The Enneagram

Many centuries ago, the indolent holy men of a Muslim goatherding culture devised a new interpretation of human nature, and passed it down through obscure traditions of mystical thought. Now, thanks to the latest scientific research and digital technology...

you too can experience the overwhelming power of ... the Enneagram!

Press HERE to begin!

A new kind of brain scan (developed in Japan) proves that there are basically two kinds of people: (1) the neocortically postfrontally perseverating, or (2) the limbically hemiparietally energized; that is to say

... you are motivated by ideas, logic, power, admiration, achievement, self-starting and all that "control" kind of stuff.

... you are a creature of sensations, feelings, passions, imaginings, caring and all that "touchy feely" kind of stuff.

You're walking down the yellow brick road, and so far you're all alone and aren't quite sure what's up ahead. But you'd most enjoy this little fairy tale if that fantasy highway leads to

... a group of new buddies that you join up with and face the evil demons with, and because you all take care of each other it comes out a happy ending.

... adventures full of excitement and magic and unexpected experiences and strange beautiful visions that you experience all by yourself.

You're filling out one of those dating questionnaires, and it asks you what trait is strong in you that you want to be strong in your partner too: that trait is

... the energy and self confidence to take charge, make things happen, and create something out of your life.

... the intelligence and insight to think through a problem using rational principles and reliable information.

That fellow you thought was an old drunk turns out to be an angel, wings and all, and because you gave him a quarter and a smile he says he will grant you one of two wishes:

... you'll always be safe and secure and never feel alone, and live a life of peace for the rest of your days.

... you'll be loved deeply and will give generously in return and will somehow survive the turmoil and loss that love sometimes brings.

It's only the third date but you're kinda looking sideways at your date who is really going on and on about how you are so absolutely attractive and desirable and unique, and what makes you so special is that

... you have such a poetical soul and sensitive nature, it's like, like for you even small things can be full of meaning and beauty.

... you are full of zest and enthusiasm and hey! wow! you're always so eager to jump into new experiences!


Ah, success at last! The chance to cash in on all your work, sweat, and tears. OK, maybe not tears. But your justly deserved reward is going to be

... heaps of fame and a nationally televised awards dinner and the admiration of thousands and a blockbuster summer movie about your life.

... a position of power and hundreds of followers and an enormous budget to control and a big desk and a phone with lots of buttons on it.


Your brain is so valuable that it is now in the Smithsonian Institution and is about to be genetically replicated so that it can be implanted into a hundred other people. Those people would perform best as ...

... scientists and researchers who can study data, analyze information, evaluate theories, and make insightful conclusions.

... judges and priests who can consider all the ethical issues involved in a controversial situation and decide what is morally correct.


You're correcting numerous errors in somebody else's report, even though it's really late and you had to break a personal commitment to finish it. Why are you helping out like that?

... you don't want arguments or bad feelings with your coworker and you'd rather just get it done right than make a big deal about it.

... nobody else on the team has stayed around, so even though it's someone else's job you're gonna do it right for the sake of all involved.